My Man... Mine!

I am nominating my man for the Food Dude of the Yeer Award.
By Bonnie Underfoot

I was just a little kitten when I was suddenly whisked away from my litter! Some strange woman tried to squeeze me and strangled me and yelped when I scratched and bit her. Who was she to try to hold me while the whole world moved past? Finally I escaped to safety under the seat.

The world stopped moving and got rather quiet, except for two voices; the woman shrieking about dragging me out from my safe place, and a comforting male voice, so soothing… soothing… HEY! Lulled by his voice, I was snatched unsuspecting out from under the seat. The shrieking, squeezing woman carried me into a strange, cluttered room and dropped me on a bed. Freedom at last!

…Or not. The smallest boy I’d ever met began shouting, “Kit-ty, kit-ty, kit-ty!” and trying to grab me. I dove for cover under the bed. I located the exact center of the bed and hunkered down to wait for my tormentors to leave. Instead, the woman returned and scolded the boy. Then she began cooing, “Here, kitty, kitty, come here, kitty,” and even spoke to me in baby talk. Sensible feline that I am, I stayed where I was, safe with the dust bunnies.

Later, I heard that soothing male voice again. And other good sounds… food pouring into a dish; litter sliding into a litter box… food… litter box… oh, I couldn’t stay beneath the bed forever.

So I ventured out into my new territory. I have found the woman to be annoying but useful. The boy… is mostly annoying, but I’ve trained him to fear and respect me. The man is by far my favorite. While they terrified me, squeezed me and hurt my ears, he brought me food, a litter box, and his quiet, soothing voice.

To this day, my man provides the best computer chair, a damp towel full of his scent, and the best belly rubs only when I desire them. That’s why he’s mine, all mine, and the best food dude in the world.


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